Sunday, November 8, 2009

Its Day 2 and I am already up against my deadline

Hello my faithful three readers :(,

Ok, it is day two and I have already come up against my first obstacle. Throughout my college career, I have been taught to take my "voice" out of the papers that I write. I have not had a creative writing class, and my "voice" is not welcome in all of my other academic writing. Those of you who will be accompanying me on this 100 days of literary genius (haha), you now have something to look for when you read my posts. You can help me identify and hone my "voice". Ok now that the boring preface is out of the way..... on to the fun stuff.

There is a phrase that has been thrown around quite a bit in my house as of late, "Only in Abilene." I mean no offense to anyone who was born or raised in Abilene (love you 'stiners), but seriously.... only in Abilene. The other night after work me, Kristina, Hoopsie, and BKing decide to hit up one of Abilene's local haunts, Linda's Lounge (at the bottom of the Whitten Inn (the number one locally owned motel in Abilene)). Linda's is the kind of bar that can make you feel like an all-star or a local yokel depending on the night. Tonight we were received like all-stars. As the door swung open to the dimly lit hole-in-the-wall bar a roar poured out into the chilly November night. The roar was emanating from our already completely intoxicated co-workers. One Chilihead (we will just call her "the Canuck") was particularly "stumbly". She ran over and promptly grabbed my woman by the back of the head and plunged 'Stiners cute little head between her Canadian bosi (the made up plural of bosom). I'm not gonna lie I think that Hoopsie and Brandon were a little upset that they did not receive the same greeting. After we received our enthusiastic greeting we grabbed our drinks from the bar and took a seat at the table.
A few minutes later I saw a girl sitting at another table, who had what looked a glitter covered mole on her temple. On further inspection I saw that it was actually a diamond (probably fake). I called her over and asked if it was a piercing or a stick-on. Her answer was lost in a slur of unintelligible words. I'm not sure if she was slurring because she was hammered drunk or if it was because its difficult to talk with two huge metal bolts going through your twice pierced tongue. She informed me that it was neither a piercing or a stick-on, but that it was an implant. An non-removable implant. An "I can never take this off.... ever" implant. An "I got this shiny glass chunk on my temple that looks like a glittery mole from across the room and I can never take it off ever unless through an expensive removal process by a doctor" implant. Yeah, she bragged about it for a few more minutes, during which she smashed at least one of her tongue piercings against her teeth no fewer than 15 times, before she stumbled back to her table. After our drinks were finished we decided it was time to go back to the house. On the way out we saw this

Yeah thats a Marine in full dress blues passed out drunk
"Only in Abilene"

See Ya,
Brooksie Wooksie


Anonymous said...

NOT born and raised. NOT.

Brooksie Baby said...

I changed it for you

Michael Chase Spain said...

Thank you for teaching me the word "bosi". I cannot think of a time when I have ever had occasion (or need) to refer to the plural, but at least I am now prepared. Good stuff, Brooks. Keep 'um coming.

Montana said...

Haha i love it brooks!!!

Anonymous said...

Leave a movie at the Paramount and get hit up for smokes and money 3x before reaching my car...
Only in Abilene?

Nice 2nd post.